Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
