worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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