Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
