community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
