Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
