There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
