Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
