There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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