Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize