I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
