and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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