He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
