i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
