Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
