Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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