somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
