i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
