i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
