It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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