guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize