So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
