Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
