I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
