somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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