I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
