5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
