I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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