she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
