dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
