i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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