I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
