boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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