Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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