also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So much Jack, so little girl.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
