If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
