he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
