The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
