Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
