Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
