erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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