I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
