Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks

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(727): View more from Florida

I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?

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(865): View more from Tennessee

In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.

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(207): View more from Maine

I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?

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(502): View more from Kentucky

My breasts were aching with rage.

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(314): View more from Missouri

will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?

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