he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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