And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
