Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
