I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize