Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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