You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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