Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
