Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
