I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
