# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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