loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
