I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
NoShamevember. You game?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
