He is such a slut. More and more my type.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
