don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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