And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
