Barsexuality is the new black.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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