My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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