If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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